Extended trading hours have begun, from today until Christmas eve, Sandton City, the shopping mecca of the Northern suburbs is open 'til late. Just in case there wasn't enough time to bankrupt yourself over the festive season, the clever folks in retail have managed to give you even more hours to shop in. [Oh, how I wish there was a sarcasm font] And, should you decide after a delicious dinner with even more delicious wine that you wish to do a little Christmas shopping – you can! Yip, because we all know that good judgement and that third glass of merlot go hand in hand.
Anyways, in honour of my being required to man the gallery until stupid o' clock, I've decided to put a little twist on an old classic. No explanation necessary.
On the first day of Christmas Sandton City gave to me
a (fabulously kitsch) sequinned black tee;
On the second day of Christmas Sandton City gave to me
Two turtle doves (well, pigeons actually, they’re like the rats of the North)
and a sequinned black tee;
On the third day of Christmas Sandton City gave to me;
Three French tourists;
Two turtle doves;
and a sequinned black tee;
On the fourth day of Christmas Sandton City gave to me;
Four ‘please call me’s (aaaargh!);
Three French tourists;
Two turtle doves;
and a sequinned black tee;
On the fifth day of Christmas Sandton City gave to me;
Five diamond rings (on appro, of course);
Four ‘please call me’s;
Three French tourists;
Two turtle doves;
and a sequinned black tee;
On the sixth day of Christmas Sandton City gave to me;
Six rich kids playing (with their trust funds);
Five diamond rings;
Four ‘please call me’s;
Three French tourists;
Two turtle doves;
and a sequinned black tee;
On the seventh day of Christmas Sandton City gave to me;
Seven housewives panicking (so many shops, so little time);
Six rich kids playing;
Five diamond rings;
Four ‘please call me’s;
Three French tourists;
Two turtle doves;
and a sequinned black tee;
On the eighth day of Christmas Sandton City gave to me;
Eight mates a drinking (and then drinking schumm more *hiccup*);
Seven housewives whingeing;
Six rich kids playing;
Five diamond rings;
Four ‘please call me’s;
Three French tourists;
Two turtle doves;
and a sequinned black tee;
On the ninth day of Christmas Sandton City gave to me;
Nine kugels prancing;
Eight mates a drinking;
Seven housewives whingeing;
Six rich kids playing;
Five diamond rings;
Four ‘please call me’s;
Three French tourists;
Two turtle doves;
and a sequinned black tee;
On the tenth day of Christmas Sandton City gave to me;
Ten thoughts of sleeping (yawn);
Nine kugels prancing;
Eight mates a drinking;
Seven housewives whingeing;
Six rich kids playing;
Five diamond rings;
Four ‘please call me’s;
Three French tourists;
Two turtle doves;
and a sequinned black tee;
On the eleventh day of Christmas Sandton City gave to me;
Eleven credit cards a swiping (and the faint smell of burning plastic in the air);
Ten thoughts of sleeping;
Nine kugels prancing;
Eight mates a drinking;
Seven housewives whingeing;
Six rich kids playing;
Five diamond rings;
Four ‘please call me’s;
Three French tourists;
Two turtle doves;
and a sequinned black tee;
On the twelfth day of Christmas Sandton City gave to me
Twelve (hundred) shoppers shopping;
Eleven credit cards a swiping;
Ten thoughts of sleeping;
Nine kugels prancing;
Eight mates a drinking;
Seven housewives whingeing;
Six rich kids playing;
Five diamond rings;
Four ‘please call me’s;
Three French tourists;
Two turtle doves;
and a sequinned black tee.
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