When God was handing out attributes on the day I was conceived, I'm pretty sure I didn't get the deluxe 'Domestic Goddess' package – I think I got the basic package. The one that includes basic housekeeping skills like:
- the ability to write and execute a grocery list;
- hand in and collect dry cleaning;
- hire (and remember to draw cash to pay) a once-a -week housekeeper;
- make the bed without knowing how to fold a hospital corner;
- throw together a packed lunch that would pass a five-year-old's stringent standards;
- and cook a basic (probably from frozen or out of a tin), balanced meal five nights a week.
The optional extras that I never got, or were simply not genetically handed down (cos my mom doesn't have 'em either):
- Ironing – I have SO much respect for women who can actually iron a man's work shirt properly. Before I got married I just avoided the issue and bought clothes that didn't need ironing (Can you say 'denial'?);
- Making pasta sauce from scratch – I just don't see the need when you can get everything under the sun in a tin these days. I am like a black belt with a can opener.
- Sewing – While I was an A-student at school, Home Economics was the one class I came dangerously close to failing (my attempt at knitting a scarf very quickly turned into a very creative interpretation of a fishing net);
- Baking – I have the attention span of a goldfish when it comes to following a recipe for baked goods. I start out measuring bicarbonate of soda and flour meticulously and end up just chopping off a blob of butter freehand reassuring myself that 'that looks about right'. Everything I've tried to bake looks beautiful in the oven and then proceeds to deflate like a two-day old helium filled balloon minutes after I take it out 'to cool'.
- Hanging curtains – okay, this one my mom can do, I know this cos whenever she comes over to my place I can see her itching to take the curtains in my lounge down and re-do the little plastic hook thingees so that each fold hangs evenly. Honestly, the fact that they're up and fit the width of the window is enough for me.
Anyways, I've been married just over a year and think that I'm showing progress. There are some things that I don't do well, so I choose to hire someone to do certain tasks once-a-week. And then there are the things I do very well and in record time. I'm a firm believer in playing to one's strengths and outsourcing when the need arises. While you're unlikely to walk into my home and be overwhelmed with the delicious vanilla-scented goodness of 'made from scratch' cookies baking in the oven, you are very likely to walk into my home and be offered a big glass of chilled white vino shortly followed by: "I was just about to order sushi from that great place down the road, are you more of a sashimi or california roll kinda girl?"
And that particular brand of hospitality requires nothing more than a bottle opener, a phone and a nice chunk of time to catch up with a good friend.
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