To my dear friend who is about to go from a Miss to a Mrs,
“Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry.”
As you prepare to say ‘I do’ and change your name I thought long and hard about what advice I could give you. The conclusion I came to is that I haven’t been married long enough to know a great deal about marriage but I have been married long enough to know that it’s God-given. His wedding present, if you will.
It may not come in a big box with a pretty ribbon, and its contents may not always be what you expect but it is the gift that keeps on giving long after the confetti has settled and the wedding dress has been packed away.
Alfred Adler once said: “We only regard those unions as real examples of love and real marriages in which a fixed and unalterable decision has been taken. If men or women contemplate an escape, they do not collect all their powers for the task. In none of the serious and important tasks of life do we arrange such a ‘getaway.’ We cannot love and be limited.”
I love this quote because it’s more cake than frosting, more substance than decoration, and far more authentic than the rhyming words you read in Hallmark cards. Marriage is that relation between man and woman in which the independence is equal, the dependence mutual, and the obligation reciprocal.
You and your future hubby have so much to look forward to and so many adventures to conquer together. According to Mark Twain – “Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.” Seeing the love you have for each other now, before your wedding day, I can only imagine how powerful that love will be in 25 years time.
I am so honoured to be your friend, one of your bridesmaids and, mostly, to be able to witness the day that the schoolgirl I met a decade ago becomes a wife. Welcome to the club!
Lots of love,
Mrs Winderley
P.S: I have this advice for your future husband...
“Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, the the other, to let her have it.”
“Getting a dog is like getting married. It teaches you to be less self-centered, to accept sudden, surprising outbursts of affection, and not to be upset by a few scratches on your car.”
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